he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
