Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Text me some of your sweat
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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