she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
