bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize