I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
