well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize