Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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