You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
