i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
