big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Pooping to opera.
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