Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
