She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
