Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
