I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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