How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
