I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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