Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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