Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
