i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
