it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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