College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
