filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize