You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
