I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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