Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
In America we eat man semen.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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