Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
