The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
