he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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