yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
