no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
