We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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