on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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