it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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