She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
