I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
