He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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