Apparently you make a good broom.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
