you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
