WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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