dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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