it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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