i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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