I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
