I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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