also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
