we have officially lost it.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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