Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
