You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize