My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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