We're facebook friends in real life
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Never joke about your clitoris.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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