I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
