i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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