Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
