You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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