Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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