i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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